It’s a scene that plays out at countless Black family gatherings across America: the smell of charcoal in the air, lawn chairs scattered across the backyard, music flowing through portable speakers, and younger adults exchanging knowing glances while asking that all-too-familiar question: Why is nobody on the grill?

Takeaways New Hide ▲

Grill master role anchors

Black family cookouts—

tradition, food, connection

Younger generations now stepping

up as elders pass

down grilling duties

Millennials and Gen Z

increasingly grill year-round,

preserving vibrant gathering traditions

Learning grill skills means

preserving culinary culture and

family storytelling spaces

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We’ve become the generation of observers, watching our uncles, fathers, and grandparents flip burgers and season ribs — and somehow still feeling like the kids, despite our own advancing ages.

But the shift is happening. Many millennials and Gen Z adults are realizing that we’re no longer the ones running through sprinklers and being handed foil-wrapped plates. Our elders are gracefully stepping back, and there’s a growing void at the grill — one that now belongs to us. Yet for many, the idea of filling that role still feels daunting, as if adulthood in this space requires a permission slip we’ve yet to grant ourselves.

This summer, I’m choosing to change that. Our communities have always thrived on traditions being passed down, and the art of grilling — with its unspoken rules, secret seasonings, and time-honored techniques — is one of the most cherished. It’s time we embrace it.

@bouncetvtok

Cousinnnnn … who’s on the grill? 👀 #PoeticJustice #Tupac #TBT #familyreunion #cookout #notlikeus #BBQ #holiday #fourthofjuly #90s #family #classic

♬ original sound – BounceTVTok

A Generational Shift at the Grill

At 34, I recently found myself watching my uncle at a family cookout, manning the grill he’s commanded for over two decades. His hands, now showing signs of arthritis, still moved with practiced precision over the hot grates. But there was a visible fatigue in his movements — a subtle invitation for the next generation to step in.

Reframing the “Forever Young” Mindset

Many of us have reached milestones that once defined adulthood: careers, mortgages, and children of our own. Yet when it comes to stepping into certain traditional family roles, we hesitate. We’ve internalized this strange notion that we’re not “grown enough” to take over spaces we’ve long seen as reserved for our elders.

Why the Grill Matters

In Black communities, the grill master is more than the one cooking — they’re a curator of experience, a keeper of tradition, an anchor at the heart of the gathering. The role carries a quiet respect and a responsibility to create space for stories, connection, and joy. It’s about more than food; it’s about preserving culture.

@theimaniexchange

WHO IS GETTING ON THE GRILL!?

♬ original sound – Mani 💕

Taking the First Steps

This summer, I’ve started my own apprenticeship of sorts: asking about temperature control, learning the difference between wood chips and charcoal, understanding when to flip, and most importantly, mastering the nuances of seasoning. There’s a rhythm to it — a blend of intuition and technique — and I’m determined to learn while I still have elders to guide me.

Moving Forward

We can’t afford to let these traditions fade. Every time we hesitate to take on these roles, another thread in our cultural fabric risks being lost. It’s on us to preserve and evolve these customs, even if we feel unready. That’s how community traditions survive — by being lived.

This summer, I’m taking my place at the grill. I’ll show up early to light the charcoal, listen closely to my elders, and embrace the inevitable mistakes along the way. Because if not us, then who? If not now, then when?

It’s time we stop asking Why is nobody on the grill?
It’s time to become the ones who are.