Dining etiquette has always been a subtle yet powerful indicator of social awareness and refinement. For Black men in particular, mastering these unspoken rules can be an important tool for navigating professional and social settings where we are often scrutinized more heavily than others. Small details like proper napkin usage might seem trivial, but they can speak volumes about our preparation and attention to detail.

Takeaways New Hide ▲

Polite conversation and

good manners elevate

every professional dinner

Thank the host and

follow up with a

message after dining

Master table setting basics:

forks on left, knife

and spoon on right

Attention to grooming

and dress is vital

for formal dinners

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Recently, I came across an enlightening video by entrepreneur Dontrell Britton (@trellthetrainer) that addresses this very topic. Britton, known for his dedication to empowering Black men, breaks down the nuances of dining etiquette in a way that feels accessible rather than pretentious. His approach acknowledges our unique experiences while providing practical guidance that can be immediately applied.

What struck me most about Britton’s presentation was how he frames etiquette not as arbitrary rules to be followed, but as strategic knowledge that can help level an uneven playing field. In spaces where Black men are often unfairly judged by different standards, being well-versed in these social codes can eliminate unnecessary distractions and allow our talents, ideas, and character to remain the focus.

Dontrell Britton’s Napkin Etiquette For Black Men

Place It In Your Lap Neatly

In the video, Britton says this is a mistake he sees often with guys. Instead of placing it in your shirt, you should put the napkin across your lap in a more sophisticated way.

Open The Side That Faces You

“This is important because when you go to wipe your mouth, you never want to use the outside of the napkin,” Britton advises. He mentions to open the inside, dab your focused area, and place it back neatly on your lap.

Don’t Wipe, Dab Gently

Of course, the human urge when you have food buildup or things left over on your face is to wipe your mouth area aggressively with the napkin, but this is a big no. “You are a gentleman with class and elegance, and the proper way is to just dab,” Britton explains.

Place The Napkin On The Chair

“If you are stepping away from the table, you never want to place your napkin on the table to step away,” Britton says. “The proper way is to take your napkin and to place it on the chair.” This will not only signal that you have proper etiquette, but also circumvent the early collection of your plate from the waiter.

Exit With Elegance

“Do not crumble your napkin and throw it on the table,” Britton says. “Place it neatly on the left side of your plate.” Doing this ensures that everyone knows that you are done with your meal, and you can exit with style and grace.

The Broader Context of Why This Matters for Black Men

For Black men, the stakes of etiquette extend beyond mere social graces. In professional settings where we’re underrepresented, any deviation from expected norms can be magnified and unfairly attributed to our background rather than simple inexperience.

Consider how often Black excellence must be flawless to be recognized. The same dynamic applies to social settings — we’re rarely afforded the luxury of making minor mistakes without judgment. While this double standard is fundamentally unjust, pragmatically navigating it while working to change it requires much learning and unlearning on our ends.

Learning proper dining etiquette removes potential barriers to how our ideas and contributions are received. It ensures that when we speak at the table, people focus on our words rather than being distracted by unfamiliarity with “customs.”