In Black and Southern history, there are countless untold stories of resilience, dignity, and the passing down of cultural excellence through generations. My grandmother’s journey from Money, Mississippi, to Memphis, Tennessee, is one such story—a testament to how domestic work became not just a means of survival, but a vessel for transmitting invaluable life skills and the essence of “Southern Hospitality,” as we know it.

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Grandmothers passed down

life skills and cultural

excellence through generations

Making beds, polishing silver,

and setting tables became

art forms and tradition

Southern hospitality taught

careful hosting, making

guests feel cherished

Domestic work shaped homes,

instilling pride and dignity

in everyday care

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From Money to Memphis: A Journey of Determination

Born to newly freed enslaved people and sharecroppers in Money, Mississippi, my grandmother’s formal education may have ended at the fourth grade, but her education in life, determination, and dignity was just beginning. In an era when opportunities were scarce for Black women in the South, she made the bold decision to forge a better life in Memphis, Tennessee.

Despite the limited formal education she received, my grandmother possessed an innate intelligence and a fierce determination that would serve her well in her chosen profession as a domestic worker. This wasn’t just a job for her—it became a craft she would master with precision and pride.

@bdthechef

Im only talking about the contemporary meaning – not the Antebellum meaning #southernhospitality #blacksoutherner #livingwhileblack

♬ original sound – BD the Chef

The Art of Domestic Excellence

Through her work in the homes of Memphis’s elite, my grandmother became versed in what many would call “high-brow culture.” But she did more than just learn these skills; she transformed them into a legacy that would enrich our family for generations to come.

Her expertise encompassed a range of sophisticated domestic arts:

• Making beds with hotel-quality precision, where corners were crisp and linens were perfectly smooth.
• The delicate art of handling and caring for fine china.
• The detailed process of polishing silver until it gleamed.
• The proper etiquette of table setting, where every fork, knife, and spoon had its perfect place.

The Heart of Southern Hospitality

Perhaps the most valuable lesson my grandmother imparted was the art of being a gracious host. This spirit of hospitality became deeply ingrained in our family’s values.

In today’s world, many of these skills and traditions are becoming lost arts. The younger generation, often rushing through meals or entertaining casually, may not appreciate the value of knowing how to properly set a formal table or the importance of treating fine china with care.

A Legacy of Grace and Dignity

What makes my grandmother’s story particularly poignant is how she transformed what could have been seen as servitude into a source of pride and expertise. She took the skills she learned and elevated them, teaching our family that true hospitality isn’t about showing off; it’s about showing care.

Through her example, we learned that hospitality is both an art and a form of love. Whether it’s the way we turn down a bed for a guest, the care we take in serving a meal, or the attention we pay to making someone feel welcome in our home, these gestures carry the echo of my grandmother’s teachings.

@akilahrelefordgould

I got hot sauce in my bag, swag 😉 #hosting #entertaining #sinners #homemaker #farmtotable #blackgirltiktok #lifestyle #southerncooking

♬ original sound – Ivory…From the “D” {Detroit}

Preserving Traditional Values in Modern Times

In an era of casual entertaining and quick convenience, there is something profound about upholding these traditions of formal hospitality. They remind us to slow down, to pay attention to detail, and to treat both our possessions and our guests with reverence and care.

While not everyone today may need to know how to polish silver or handle fine china, the underlying principles my grandmother taught us remain relevant: attention to detail, pride in one’s work, and the importance of making others feel valued and welcome.

My grandmother’s legacy lives on in every perfectly made bed, every carefully set table, and every warmly welcomed guest in our home. Through her work as a domestic worker, she not only earned a living but also cultivated and passed down an appreciation for excellence, hospitality, and grace that continues to enrich our lives today.

In preserving and sharing these traditions, we honor not only my grandmother but also all the women of her generation who, through their domestic work, became unsung custodians of culture and tradition. Their spirit of true Southern hospitality lives on through the lessons they taught us, reminding us that genuine hospitality is timeless, transcending generations and circumstances.