Boundaries and Other Tips for Living at Home With Your Parents - Home & Texture
Homeownership Living With Parents

How to Navigate Moving Back Home With Your Parents

In this economy, we get it.

August 6, 2024 at 2:06 PM PST
Homeownership Living With Parents

How to Navigate Moving Back Home With Your Parents

In this economy, we get it.

August 6, 2024 at 2:06 PM PST

Moving back home with your parents after enjoying the conveniences of solo living—walking around naked, cooking meals at 2 a.m., and inviting friends over on short notice—isn’t the easiest decision. Most adults work tirelessly to savor such independent freedom. Still, sometimes, living with mom and dad becomes the necessary or most beneficial option; this is especially true for a growing number of millennials and Gen Z today.

living with parents
Photo credit: Morsa Images

High inflation, unaffordable rent and housing prices, and mounting debt are driving young adults to stay home, but they aren’t just relying on their parents for housing. While about 57% of adults ages 18 to 24 live with their parents, 59% of parents with children ages 18 to 34 say they provided some financial support for them in the past year, according to a recent report by the Pew Research Center. For many, exchanging a mortgage or rent payment for their childhood bedrooms is a viable way to save money, combat economic strain, and set up a more financially secure future. However, the arrangement can come with challenges for everyone involved.

It’s an adjustment for both parents, who might struggle to reframe after being conditioned to the empty nester lifestyle, and for young adults, who are all grown up and want to maintain and assert their independence. Beyond the familial relationship, young adults and parents might face stigma or feel shame about the decision to live together. If you’re considering moving home or have already packed up your place, here are a few tips to manage and navigate the transition.

Give Yourself Grace

Don’t view choosing to live at home with your parents as a failure. Instead of perceiving it as a reversal of your freedom or an inability to meet traditional milestones of adulthood, look at it for what it is: a means to an end. You’re making this decision to change your circumstances in some way, whether to recover from a financial or personal setback, such as a difficult divorce or to manage your money better. It’s not forever; you shouldn’t be ashamed to ask for help and accept it.

Set Boundaries

Creating boundaries allows space for you and your parents to coexist and fosters an environment of respect. Discussing these early on can help avoid tension, misunderstandings, and feelings of resentment. Be specific: if you’re serious about your leftovers, emphasize asking first and eating later. Remember, parents have boundaries, too, so it’s important to honor theirs.

Let Go of Comparison

Avoid focusing on what your friends are doing and recognize that everyone has their own pace. Open up to them about what you’re going through. If you’re comparing your life to the perfectly curated glimpses on social media, consider deleting your profiles for a while. Alternatively, you can use social media to create a supportive community. Several TikTokers have shared their experiences living with their parents in adulthood, denouncing the stigma and sparking conversations about why it works best for them.

living with parents
Photo credit: MoMo Productions

Maintain Your Mental Health and Relationships

When there’s a significant change in life, it can be harder to maintain our routines. Continue prioritizing self-care and engage in the daily and weekly activities you enjoy. It’s essential to schedule time to get out of the house whenever possible to preserve your sense of identity and freedom as an adult, especially for anyone struggling with boundary-setting. And don’t forget about the romance! It can be tough to date or spend time with a partner while living at home, so communicate with your parents if someone is coming over and you want privacy.

Plan Your Exit

Decide how long you plan to stay with your parents and let them know when you aim to move out. Develop a plan with clear financial, professional, and personal goals to help you reach your targeted date. While you may hope to move into a place of your own within a few months, be realistic and allow yourself enough time to meet your expectations. If you need more time, talk with your parents, and don’t criticize yourself for not being where you want to be.

Contribute to the Household

Show gratitude to your parents for their generosity by contributing to the household. Whether through financial support, like paying a portion of rent or groceries or taking on chores, your parents will appreciate the extra help. Letting them know you value the opportunity to be home with them, even in the smallest gestures, will strengthen your relationship and make things less one-sided.



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