The holiday season is upon us, and with it comes the whirlwind of festive gatherings, cocktail parties, and dinner soirées. While these celebrations are meant to bring joy and connection, they can also become breeding grounds for social faux pas that leave hosts annoyed and guests cringing. We were inspired to tackle this topic after watching our Design Vanguard Honoree Brittney Winbush‘s (@wellbritt) witty and insightful TikTok series, “Where The Hosts At,” where she breaks down the art of hosting with humor and candor. Her observations got us thinking about the flip side of the equation: what are the mistakes that people are making as guests?

After many years of hosting events and attending countless gatherings, I’ve peeped a few behaviors that will give anyone the ick. Some are common sense lapses, while others reveal a lack of proper etiquette that many of us simply weren’t taught. From the moment you receive an invitation to the follow-up after the event, there are crucial touch points where guests often miss the mark. The good news? These mistakes are entirely avoidable with a little awareness and consideration.

Whether you’re a seasoned party-goer or someone who gets anxious about social obligations, we’re here to help everyone navigate the holiday party circuit with grace. Consider this your friendly guide to being the kind of guest that hosts actually want to invite back. Because at the end of the day, great gatherings are built on mutual respect, thoughtfulness, and understanding that someone put real time, money, and effort into creating a memorable experience for you.

Home & Texture’s Holiday Party Mistakes:

Forgetting to RSVP or Waiting Until the Last Minute

One of the most fundamental mistakes guests make is treating RSVPs as optional or waiting until the very last minute to respond. Hosts need headcounts for food, drinks, seating arrangements, and overall planning. When you don’t respond promptly, you’re essentially telling the host that their event isn’t a priority for you. Even if you’re unsure about your schedule, respond with a tentative answer and follow up as soon as you know for certain. A timely RSVP shows respect for the host’s planning process and shows that you value their invitation. Set a personal rule to respond within 48 hours of receiving an invitation, and you’ll never be that person who leaves hosts hanging.

Showing Up Empty-Handed

While hosts typically don’t expect elaborate gifts, arriving completely empty-handed can come across as thoughtless, especially for intimate gatherings. This doesn’t mean you need to break the bank—a nice bottle of wine, a small bouquet of flowers, a box of quality chocolates, or even a thoughtful card goes a long way in showing appreciation. The gesture acknowledges the time, effort, and money the host has invested in creating the event. If you’re unsure what to bring, you can always ask the host if there’s anything they need, or stick with classic crowd-pleasers.

Arriving Too Early or Fashionably Too Late

Timing is everything when it comes to party arrival. Showing up early might seem polite, but it can actually stress out hosts who are still setting up, getting dressed, or handling last-minute preparations. On the flip side, arriving more than 30 minutes late (without communication) is disrespectful and can throw off the host’s schedule, especially if they’ve planned a sit-down dinner. The sweet spot is typically arriving 10-15 minutes after the stated start time for cocktail parties, or right on time for seated dinners. If you’re running late, send a quick text to let the host know. This simple courtesy allows them to adjust and shows you respect their efforts.

Being Glued to Your Phone

We live in a digital age, but constantly checking your phone at a social gathering sends the message that you’d rather be somewhere else. It’s disengaging to other guests and dismissive to the host who worked hard to create an environment for real connection. Of course, there are exceptions—checking on a babysitter, waiting for an important call—but these should be brief and discreet. Challenge yourself to keep your phone in your pocket or bag for most of the event. If you must take a call or respond to something urgent, excuse yourself and step away from the main gathering. Your full presence is one of the best gifts you can give at any party.

Overindulging in Food or Alcohol

Holiday parties often feature abundant food and flowing drinks, but treating the event like an all-you-can-eat buffet or overindulging in alcohol to the point of being sloppy is a major faux pas. Being the drunkest person at the party or monopolizing the food spread makes other guests uncomfortable and creates extra work for the host. Practice moderation by pacing yourself with water between alcoholic drinks and being mindful of portion sizes, especially during cocktail hour. Remember that the party is about socializing and celebrating together, not just consuming as much as possible. If you do accidentally overindulge, take responsibility, apologize sincerely, and make it right with a thoughtful follow-up.

Not Sending a Thank You When You Can’t Attend

Perhaps one of the most overlooked breaches of etiquette is failing to acknowledge an invitation when you can’t attend. Simply declining an RSVP and moving on without any further communication is a missed opportunity to maintain the relationship and show appreciation. If you’re not able to make it to someone’s event, especially if it’s an intimate gathering, send a message or small gift to the host expressing your regrets and gratitude for thinking of you. This could be as simple as a text saying you’re disappointed to miss it and wish them a wonderful celebration, or as thoughtful as sending flowers or a card with a personal note. This gesture shows that even though you can’t be there physically, you value the relationship and recognize the effort that goes into hosting.

Failing to Send an Appreciation Gift Before or After the Event

In the age of casual communication, the art of expressing gratitude through a thoughtful gift has become increasingly rare—but it remains one of the most elegant gestures you can make as a guest. While bringing something the day of the party is standard etiquette, going the extra mile to send a gift either before or after the event elevates your thoughtfulness to another level. A pre-party gift—like a beautiful candle, a specialty item for their bar cart, or something you know they’d love—builds excitement and shows genuine appreciation for the invitation. Alternatively, a post-party thank-you gift sent within a few days of the event demonstrates that you’re still thinking about the wonderful time they created for you. This could be flowers with a heartfelt note, a book you discussed at the party, or even a framed photo from the evening.