Those seeking to curate a peaceful home shouldn’t sleep on the importance of good quality rest. No matter if you live alone or in the company of your favorite people, a night without acquiring all 40 winks can put you in a seriously sour mood. Films and television have long set the standard for what home situations “should” look like, but now that content creators are sharing openly on social media, we’re being exposed to different lifestyles, some of which are creating a positive impact across the globe. Among them is a trending topic known as “sleep divorce,” which might sound negative, but is making numerous couples stronger as individuals and in their union.

As Vogue reports, a 2019 OnePoll survey of 2,000 Americans revealed that sleep divorce, or snoozing in a different bed/room from their partner positively impacted their married life. It might sound like an extreme measure for those who value snuggling up close after the sun goes down. However, ending the day in your own space doesn’t necessarily indicate that trouble is afoot. Ironically, taking time away to recharge your battery and give yourself the quality rest you deserve leaves us with more energy to give loved ones during typical waking hours.

The Science of Good Quality Rest

In 2023, The American Academy of Sleep Medicine conducted a study and found out that 31% of women wake up feeling tired. This is almost double the number of men who experience the same issue and could be the result of numerous factors like work schedules, anxiety, eating habits, insomnia disorders, hormones and even who you share your bed with. Because good sleep is so important, more people than ever (over one-third, according to Sleep Foundation) are crashing in a different room from their significant other.

For someone who works a high-pressure job, missing out on even just a few hours a night can be crucial. Sleep deprivation puts humans at higher risk of making dangerous errors behind the wheel or while operating equipment, not to mention the impacts it can have on your heart and overall immune system. If you’re struggling to lose weight, lack of sleep might be holding you back from your goals due to a slowed metabolism. There’s no telling how much better you could feel with an improved nighttime routine, though there’s a lot to be considered before jumping straight to a sleep divorce.

Is a Sleep Divorce Right For You?

Pros

• Reduced interruptions at night from things like parenting, snoring, restlessness, illness, bathroom breaks and more.
• 53% of those who tried sleep divorce report better rest in their own bed, Sleep Foundation notes.
• Couples who consistently slept in different beds got an average of 37 minutes more per night.
• As your sleep improves, so too will your relationship with yourself, your lover and virtually everyone else you interact with. Poor quality rest can increase feelings of anger and alter your perception, making you more reactive and anxious about problems that might not even exist.

Cons

• Sleep divorce sounds like a great solution for many in need of quality rest, but it isn’t always effective in practice. A study from the Oxford Academic Journal says that sleeping with a romantic partner is better for sleep quality and mental health; it also gives some a feeling of security that allows them to fully relax. 40% of people who returned to bed sharing after an attempted separation reported better quality sleep, suggesting that a temporary break might work wonders for your relationship.
• Over a quarter of couples who use separate bedrooms find themselves reverting to old habits before long. For a third of those lovers, missing their partner brought them back together; others noted a negative impact on their sex life because of the distance.
• From paying higher rent for an extra bedroom to investing in a high-quality mattress for your new sanctuary, the pros of sleep divorce come at no small cost. This alone makes it impossible for some people to successfully try the wellness trend out, but there are still cost-effective alternatives that can help.

More Bedroom Alternatives That Can Benefit Your Wellbeing

If you’re sleep divorce curious, but unsure how your S/O might feel about the idea, there are other options to explore. One popular alternative is Scandinavian-style slumber, which means resting in the same bed as your partner but using separate bedding. Each of you can pick the blankets that best suit your needs and move freely throughout the night without worrying about disrupting your lover, who’s still nearby to make you feel safe.

Snoring can keep you and others up, but getting screened for sleep apnea can provide solutions and peace of mind. Alternatively, you can ease into a sleep divorce by scheduling in more quality time together before bed. Making a meal, going for a walk, reflecting on your day, dancing, creating, or getting ready to sleep together are all great ways to connect before prioritizing your wellness individually.