The freedom of sitting poolside during a meeting, taking a scenic route to grab dry cleaning, or blasting your favorite album while working are the perks of remote work. Yet, this solitude often starts as a relief but can evolve into a longing for community. When you’re not in the office, even holiday party emails feel less trivial. You’re not alone; America is increasingly lonely. This is why friendship coaches like Danielle Bayard Jackson are studying human connection, helping people rebuild their social circles.

You may know Jackson as @thefriendshipexpert on TikTok and Instagram, where she empowers women to create and sustain meaningful friendships. Jackson, a certified coach, speaker, and author, explores the science of women’s conflict, communication, and cooperation. Through her brand, Friend Forward, she blends research with real-life experiences to help friendships thrive, fostering a secure and healthy sense of community that can endure distance, time, and life’s challenges.

 

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Home & Texture spoke with Jackson about cultivating friendships while working from home. Whether you’re employed, recently laid off, or a new graduate, she offers strategies for building a network when communal spaces are no longer part of your daily routine.

Home & Texture: What led you to become a friendship educator and start Friend Forward?

Danielle Bayard Jackson: I started as a high school English teacher, working with 12th graders for five years before becoming the department chair. There were a number of things my students wanted to talk about with their friendships, specifically my female students.

That was kind of my first introduction to it. But then I left the classroom, and I got into public relations. I suddenly found myself working with charismatic, high-achieving women who were adults, and they, too, were struggling privately with friendship issues.

Noticing a pattern, I’ve dedicated the last six years of my career to studying research on women’s cooperation, communication, and conflict.

H&T: We’d love to know more about the impact of friendship and how important it is to maintain these relationships.

DBJ: Many people understand that friendships matter, but few can articulate why. Harvard’s longest-running study on happiness found that the quality of relationships is the top factor in overall life satisfaction and well-being. Good friendships influence how long you live, how happy you are, and your overall health. They can prevent depression, improve sleep, boost the immune system, and support heart health. Strong social connections offer numerous benefits that directly impact your quality of life.

H&T: Given the current loneliness epidemic, research shows that many people are struggling to connect. What do you think are the main obstacles preventing connection and contributing to this widespread isolation?

DBJ: Let’s start with external factors because they shape our experience. Systemic issues, like fewer walkable neighborhoods and the collapse of third spaces—libraries, churches, community centers—make it harder to connect. Our culture promotes individualism, with conveniences like DoorDash and remote work keeping us isolated. The cost of convenience is learned loneliness, especially since the pandemic. We’ve become comfortable being alone, but that doesn’t mean it’s good for us. We need to recognize this and actively seek out connections.

H&T: How can we start conversations that could lead to lasting friendships when we’re out?

DBJ: Prioritize connection over friendship, and friendship will naturally follow. When we focus too much on making someone a friend, it adds pressure and feels like an audition. Instead, aim for one meaningful social connection each day, even if it’s just a mood-boosting conversation. Research shows we often overestimate how awkward social interactions will be and underestimate how welcoming people are. To break the ice, ask questions, make observations about the person or your shared environment, and use a familiar tone to ease into the conversation.

 

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H&T: Do you think being a regular in a space can help foster connections?

DBJ: One tip for working from home is to become a regular somewhere, like a coffee shop or co-working space. Making friends felt easier in school due to the “mere exposure effect,” which means that we often prefer the things that are familiar. We spent hours with the same people daily, naturally forming bonds. Now, without a structured environment, we must create those opportunities ourselves. Commit to a routine, like working from a coffee shop every Friday morning, to see familiar faces and gradually build connections.

H&T: Where does the internet come into play?

DBJ: To leverage technology for finding friends, aim to meet in person as soon as possible. Friendship apps often lead to endless exchanges without real connection. After a few messages, suggest a meetup, like, “We both have XYZ in common—want to get together next Wednesday?” This not only accelerates the connection but also tests their commitment. When meeting, avoid exhausting the conversation. Leave on a high note so there’s more to discuss next time. This approach fosters genuine connections without the awkwardness of overextending the interaction.

H&T: Once we’ve established a connection, how do we push the relationship forward and create a closer bond?

DBJ: The key to building friendships is clocking hours together—research shows it takes about 34 hours to move from acquaintance to friend. Sharing space naturally leads to conversations and deeper connections. If you want more depth, focus on spending more time with the people you already know. Secondly, embrace vulnerability, which means taking the risk of rejection. The “beautiful mess effect” suggests that people are more likable after showing vulnerability. Stop trying to be perfect; being real and imperfect is what builds genuine, lasting friendships.

H&T: Lots of activity-based social clubs are popping up. Are those good places for people to make actual friends?

DBJ: Joining clubs—like a run club, tennis, pickleball, or a book club—is key for making friends while working from home. These clubs offer regular meetups, helping you clock in hours and build consistency, which is crucial for forming relationships. Familiar faces and shared activities make bonding easier and take the pressure off constant conversation. However, don’t just go once; commit to attending at least three times to fully engage and experience the benefits.

H&T: So, is it important to stay open, be vulnerable, and experience connections as they are before jumping to conclusions?

DBJ: Absolutely, it really comes down to that. We can talk about strategies and details, which are important because people want to know how to make connections, but at the core, people are scared. They’re afraid of rejection, looking awkward, or suggesting a hangout and being turned down. But it’s okay to be awkward—who cares? That’s part of the process. The people who give themselves permission to be awkward and just try are the ones really enjoying life.

This article has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.